Betapa ku dambakan-Mu Ya Rabb How I miss You so My Lord Baru sedetik ku hirup udara punya-Mu Only a sniff of Your air that I breathe Hatiku gedebuk dan seru My heart pumps up and thrills Sebak rasa dadaku di jiwa-Mu Sorrow felt in my soul of Yours Mukaku bibi nan sipi, kelopak mataku dilinangi My face cowered in timidity, my eyes watery Lillahi aku mau merunggau, merangkak I swear I wanna crawl on bended knees Demi menjalani kurnia Ilahi kakiku dari-Mu Struggling to walk a pair of God-given legs Aku berlari ingin sekali mendampingi-Mu I run in desperation to come to You Degupan jantungku semakin deras sesak My heart beats faster in adrenaline rush Namun ku jatuh tersungkur menangisi-Mu But I fall and cry in tears for You my God Aku telah menzalimi diriku, Ya Allah I’ve failed You and humiliated myself Tapi aku masih berpegang teguh akan janji-Mu Still, I firmly hold on to Your Blessed Promise Setiap makhluk-Mu yang bergelimang ‘ngan dosa Every creature of Yours shrouded over with sins Masih diberi peluang dan harapan nan kegelapan There’s light at the end of the gloomy, dark tunnel Aku hanya perlu sujud dan mengabdikan jiwa ragaku All I have to do is bow and kneel to smell Your earth Biar hama debu meresap menusuk ke lubang hidung Let the dusty germs seep through my nostrils Yang penting jeritan batinku dan kehibaan naluri As long as my silent scream and damned senses Akan bisa menembusi keheningan, kesepian dini Penetrate the quiet dawn of peaceful tranquility Aku mencintai sedalam-dalamnya KeEsaan-Mu I purely and deeply love the Only One Almighty
MY GROWING UP son and daughter have always been my pride and joy. They are both sitting for quite important exams this year:
My 15-year-old boy, B.A., is taking nine subjects for the Brunei Cambridge GCE ‘O’ Levels and his 11-year-old sister, T.A., is under pressure to equal her big brother’s achievement five years ago of five straight A’s in the Penilaian Sekolah Rendah (PSR) or Primary School Assessment examination.
Well, as a worried parent, I could only pray in silence for both of them to perform above expectations apart from giving them the moral support to motivate them to excel in their academic pursuits.
T.A., my long-haired princess, always surprises me with her cool, unassuming attitude and this morning she woke me up early to ask me to send her to school.
I almost forgot that she was one of two students from her school to join other top primary school students from throughout the country in this year’s Mathematics Olympiad. It is part of an annual educational event which is organized by the Science and Technology and Environment Project (STEP) of the Ministry of Education. Her elder brother, B.A., clinched the top 10 positions in the Science Olympiad in his category last year. He was supposed to have been shortlisted to represent Brunei Darussalam in an international Science Olympiad which was scheduled to have been held in Bahrain, UAE but due to AH1N1, the trip had to be canceled. Tough Luck, son!
And as soon as I return from sending my daughter to school, I had to rush my son to his school Sports Day in a nearby sports complex this morning. B.A. also surprised me when I picked him up around midday that he got fifth placing in an 800 meters race without any practice. Apparently he was a last minute replacement for his Green House and he also joined his team-mates in the 100-meter sprint relay event (coming in 5th position, too). He told me that he was a leading flag bearer at the Sports Meet today. “Well,” I said, “By right you should since you’re the school’s Head Boy!”
Below is a photo of him (standing third from left) being installed as the Head Prefect of his school this year by his school Principal (far right):
Last month, he also led a group of his schoolmates to participate in the Borneo Global Issues Conference (BGIC) which is organized annually by the International School Brunei (ISB), Berakas. It was the first time that his school has joined the BGIC and my son role-played as the Bolivian President in presenting a nation’s policy resolution paper on the prevailing international issue of the Palestinian Plight. I was pretty impressed with his presentation which was beyond even my own understanding of the whole issue at hand and quite current, too!
Below is my ‘future diplomat’ son sitting in front row (far right) being pictured with other ‘United Nations delegates’ from other schools including a few participating schools from neighbouring countries and overseas in the function at the International Convention Centre (ICC), which was officially opened by HRH Pengiran Anak Isteri Pengiran Anak Sarah (the Crown Princess):
His younger sister seems to be following his footsteps in excelling in both the academic and co-curricular activities. Recently she and three of her classmates presented an English project on the “Importance of Good Manners” in front of her schoolmates and teachers. T.A. aspires to become a doctor but for now she’s so crazy about dancing and all things Korean — music, movies, etc. Hhmm…#*@
My innocent girl above minus her dancing gear and ballet leotard — B.A. & T.A. Love you both so very much, guys!
In the midst of prayers
In the chill of a mosque
A boy in Baju Melayu
Asks for a dollar from me
“I’m quite thirsty, uncle,
I need to buy a drink”
Lucky for him that day
I happen to have $2
Out of my pants pocket
I hand to him a dollar
Outside the Masjid
I shake a firm grip
Of a 50-something
He’s been jobless
For years on end
He wipes his dear
Old blue Nissan 120Y
From raindrops to dry
I wish I could give him
Ten dollars for his fuel
God willing, next time
I stop by in town next
Into an Indian eatery
Wanna sip cuppa tea
One able-bodied guy
Pitifully came up to me
“You got a dollar for me?”
I let him have only money
I wanna pay for tea-pully
I drive by my Kampung
Walking along the street
A stroke-victim villager
Passes by me limpingly
I search for loose coins
This young man’s lucky
God spares him cent-60
You always love it when it rains, don’t you?
I’ve always loved to wish upon a rainbow
You got hitched on Christmas day long ago
I thought I saw your double in Singapore
In faraway Tokyo I glimpsed your shadow
I was aboard a bullet train years ago in Japan
I got jolted by heartburn thinking of you then
Years apart, your soul within me still remains
Your angelic face, almost always sweet smiles
On dark, black days and bleak, gloomy times
Somehow you’re always there to fill my soul
Emptiness simply fades so you appear, Angel
A deafening silence stops, my heartbeat starts
The adrenaline rush seems ever so endless
Everything else matters no more, no less
Fortunately for you but for me, unfortunately
Our separated souls shall never unify, divinely
Life’s been so wonderful with the highs and the lows, sweet bitter after tastes — its ups and downs. So who’s complaining?
Life’s been such an amazing fairy tale even when what it’s really all about is simply a nightmare — day in, day out.
Life’s been like one big drag, getting tougher each time you go out into the real world. And man! It’s survival of the best of life, every step of the way…
Life’s not been fair at times, so what gives? In life, nothing’s exactly equal, let alone precisely justified. Justice is only fair game to those who are willing to pay the price, people!
Life’s nothing to do about the people, for the people and by the people, for all I care — some people say…
Life is life and that’s all there is to it. To live and let life takes its own course is the best way to go about it.
Life’s full of thrills sometimes when there’s no frills. Whichever way you look at it, life’s always been out there for the taking. But life is not to be taken lightly for granted — definitely never ever!
Life finally sinks in to the greatest will of the Creator of lives… oh my God!
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